Safe Mode
by flipmeforward
Summary: An AU in which Kurt and Sebastian never met in high school. Instead, they meet at &brave—an up-and-coming online fashion company where Kurt is the new assistant slash blogger (one day he will figure out a better title), and Sebastian is the less than pleasant tech support guy.


Written for the Kurtbastian BigBang 2012-2013. Masterpost for art & fanmix can be found at **http quinnsahamster . livejournal . com (slash) 463 . html**, check it out!

* * *

"Uhm, hello?" Kurt calls into the seemingly empty office. He takes a few tentative steps towards what he assumes to be the equivalent of a reception desk and looks for a bell, or _something_ that can be used to call for attention. He wants to leave and come back later, but he can't.

"Hello?" he calls again, a little bit louder this time, and it works. Someone emerges from behind a big wall filled with cords and cables. Someone...fairly good-looking, actually. He could use a little work, of course. His hair is brown and coiffed and pretty decent, he has pants that-as far as Kurt can see-fit him well, but his polo shirt is downright hideous. It's not even company-issued, there's no excuse for it. Yet, he's a person, and Kurt is relieved, until he looks twice and sees the guy's scowl.

"You're not the only person who needs help in this place, so stop yelling," the guy says, walking towards the desk. "What do you want?"

"Uhm." Kurt is a bit taken aback by the hostility from the guy (aren't support people supposed to be nice?), but he catches himself quick enough. "I'm Kurt Hummel, I'm the new-" Kurt bites his lip. He still hasn't worked out how to present himself in terms of work titles. _Assistant slash blogger_ doesn't sound quite right. The company is growing big, fast, but people are young and the description for his job is a bit...wonky. "I'm here to pick up-" he says instead, but he's not allowed to even finish the sentence.

"A phone and a computer, yes. They said you were coming today. You're late," the guy says as he turns around and walks back behind the wall. At least Kurt was right about the pants. He emerges a couple of seconds later with a macbook and an iphone in his hands.

"I assume you're familiar with macs," the guy says, not even voicing it as a question.

"Fairly?" Kurt says, because they had macs at McKinley and he's had an iphone for ages.

"Good. Most of the softwares are cloud-based and work via web interface anyway, so just choose whatever browser you're most comfortable with and it should be all right. There should be a docking station at your desk, so just plug it in and everything should work." He does a few clicks on his own computer, and the printer next to it spits out a couple of papers. He grabs them and puts them in two piles on the desk.

"Here, you need to sign these. It's pretty standard; you promise not to use the devices for illegal downloads, nuclear weapons, or porn, you know the deal." The guy eyes Kurt's layers and his bag. "Or maybe you don't," he adds with a smirk.

"Watching or doing porn?" Kurt asks as coolly as he can while grabbing a pen. The guy's smirk falters, just one tiny bit, but Kurt sees it and just about manages to stop himself from preening. He gets another once-over, and the smirk is back in full force.

"Both. Unfortunately."

Kurt skims through the pages, then signs the bottom of each one.

"Password is abc123," the guy says and pushes the computer and phone towards Kurt. "I recommend that you change it. Passcode for the phone is 1234, change that too; a passcode is mandatory on all phones."

"Who do I call if I need any help?" Kurt asks, grabbing the computer and making sure the cords don't fall off.

"Me," the guy says with a sigh that makes it sound like it's the biggest sacrifice in the world. He hands Kurt a business card. "But I'm not here all the time, and other people need help, too, so try not to screw up too badly or too often, okay, honey?"

Kurt glares at him at that and leaves without another word. It's not until he's in the elevator that he looks down at the business card.

Sebastian Smythe  
Tech Support &brave

Kurt promises himself then and there to read up on the computer and softwares as much as possible so he won't have to call Sebastian, ever.

~x~o~x~o~x~o~x~

His resolve lasts for two weeks. Then his boss' computer crashes, and she leaves Kurt to deal with it. Kurt hasn't had the time to as much as google 'computer 101,' much less learn what to do if the thing _crashes_, so he sighs and digs out Sebastian's business card.

"IT department, Sebastian Smythe," comes the voice after too many signals, but at least he sounds nicer now than when Kurt last met him.

"Hi! Uhm, this is Kurt Hummel, Clarisse's assistant. We-uh-met the other week, I don't-"

"Yeah, I remember. What's the problem, can't find the power bottom-sorry, button? It's located at the top right corner of the keyboard, honey. You have to open the computer to get to it." Well, maybe not so nice after all.

"Actually," Kurt says, choosing to ignore Sebastian's remarks and innuendos. "Clarisse's computer has crashed, and I don't know what to do. I've tried rebooting and unplugging and replugging, but it doesn't work."

Sebastian is silent for a couple of seconds.

"Okay. I'll be there in...twenty minutes, okay?" He suddenly sounds a lot more professional again.

"Okay," Kurt confirms, sinking down in his boss' chair.

~x~o~x~o~x~o~x~

This was not how Kurt had imagined his life. He was supposed to be at NYADA now, with Blaine, and Rachel, but instead he's...here. Alone.

Not that he's really complaining. This is an amazing opportunity, he's been _handpicked_, but it still...hurts, a little bit. Being rejected from NYADA a second time. Not being able to work things out with Blaine. Trying but failing not to be bitter about Rachel's inevitable success at that god damn school.

He'd gotten a prolonged (paid) internship at , thanks to Isabelle, and then gone from there to &brave. It's a dream job at a dream company. Sure, the _description_ of the job is a bit wonky, but the job itself? Half of it is what he's been doing at Vogue for the past two years, the other half is what he's been doing for fun since high school. He fetches coffee, print copies, and blogs about fashion and trends for an online clothing store with the tagline _Fashion has no gender_-that's not something to complain about.

Well-except for now. He's staring at the black screen of his boss' computer, very non-eagerly anticipating Sebastian's arrival. He could, and probably should get some work done-_his_ computer is working just fine, but he knows he won't be able to concentrate while he's waiting for Sebastian.

When Sebastian does arrive, he's ten minutes late. Kurt is googling 'black screen mac' on his phone and jumps out of his seat when Sebastian slams the office door open.

"Oh my god, what are you wearing?" Kurt asks, horrified. Sebastian looks down at his bright turquoise polo with a pink stripe down across the chest. He scowls, at the shirt and then at Kurt.

"This is official company clothes," he mutters. "We're holding lectures at a high school a couple of blocks away, this is what we're forced to wear." He motions for Kurt to step aside so he can get at the desk and Kurt does, too dumbfounded by the management's total lack of self-respect when choosing representative clothing. He definitely does not stare at Sebastian's ass where his jeans stretches over it when he bends in front of the computer.

"Did you check all the cables?" Sebastian asks, barely glancing at Kurt.

"Uh, yeah, I-think so," Kurt says, hesitantly, because he's fairly sure he did. Sebastian still unplugs and plugs in the cables, then crouches on the floor to un- and replug the power cord. Kurt can't stop staring at his ass. He _recognizes_ it, it looks exactly like the picture he blogged yesterday.

"Have you modeled those pants?" Kurt blurts out before he can stop himself. Sebastian looks at him over his shoulder, smirking.

"No. Why? You think my ass is good enough?" he grins. Kurt really, really wishes he was somewhere else right now. Sebastian stands up, docks the presumably crashed computer, and when it boots up perfectly, Kurt wants to sink right through the floor.

Sebastian turns around and smiles gleefully, but just when he opens his mouth to say something (probably scating), _I'm bringing sexy back_ starts blasting in the office and Sebastian grimaces before reaching into his pocket for his phone.

"IT department, Sebastian Smythe." He listens to the person at the other end and grabs his bag, browsing through it until he fishes up a tablet.

"Mhm. Yeah. Yeah, okay. Okay, you have to use the touch panel on the left." He flails his left hand in the air and Kurt raises an eyebrow. Sebastian has his back to him, so he doesn't notice. "Mhm. Yeah, and choose 'landscape,'" he draws an horizontal line in the air. "And in the top left corner," he points upwards to the left, and Kurt has to bite his lip to not burst out laughing. His own phone buzzes in his hand and he glances down at it. He has a meeting in ten minutes. Kurt looks back at Sebastian and decides that he can just leave, because the computer is working, but when he walks towards the door, Sebastian waves at him to stay.

"Yeah, and then you just set the amount of copies as usual. Yeah. Okay, great. Call me if there's any more trouble. No problem. Bye!" He hangs up, glaring at his phone, and looks up at Kurt.

"What's your name again?" He asks and picks up the tablet.

"Uhm. Kurt Hummel," Kurt answers, trying not to feel offended at being _this_ unmemorable.

"And you work in..." Sebastian looks up and out through the glass wall at the rest of the office. "Marketing. And I did an _awesome_ job, so-"

"Wait, what are you doing?" Kurt asks, suddenly wary. Sebastian taps a few more times on the screen in his hand before he puts the tablet back in his bag.

"I just filled out your evaluation of me and my service," he says casually. Kurt stares at him.

"Aren't _I_ supposed to do that?"

Sebastian shrugs. "I fixed the computer. Can't have you filling out evaluations based on what you think of me as a person." He walks past Kurt and opens the door. "And next time, check all of the cables before you call, okay?" He smiles sweetly and Kurt blushes furiously, while trying to stifle the urge to kick him in the balls.

"I will," he mutters, but Sebastian doesn't care. He's already halfway to the elevator.

~x~o~x~o~x~o~x~

A week later, the IT guys break the mid-morning calm when they stride in on the Marketing floor, followed by a worried-looking sales team.

"Okay guys, conference room, now!" The guy who Kurt recognizes as head of IT shouts, clapping his hands above his head and steering towards the conference room.

Kurt narrows his eyes. He checks his phone and the planner on his desk-no meetings planned, especially not a company-wide. He reluctantly gets out of his seat and follows his co-workers to the conference room. It's a little cramped, and Kurt takes a place in the back while the IT guys stand lined up at the other end of the room. There's the department head, who's currently leaning over to whisper something go a guy dressed in the same horrible turquoise that Sebastian wore the other week. There are two women, one in jeans and hoodie, and one in a flowery dress-and then there's Sebastian. He looks an awful lot better when he's out of that shirt, and Kurt can see even from the other end of the room that he's wearing tight jeans again. Not that Kurt has an obsession with his ass or anything. Not his legs, either. Or waist.

Head guy apparently deems the crowd complete, because he claps his hands again and clears his throat.

"Okay, so, starting Monday, we're switching data systems. Everything except the email and intranet will change. The whole sales system, the marketing platforms-everything. And yes-" he holds up a hand when the sales guys up front starts talking. "We're doing this one week before Thanksgiving. Frankly, it's not our decision. As it often is with these things, it will get worse before it gets better. It's a better system, in several ways, but as with everything, it takes some getting used to. We're here for you if you need us; apparently we're all on call through the holiday. The only reason we're here to tell you in person instead of sending out an email is because it's pretty fucking boring to have you bitch at us in our inboxes, so please-get it all out now and then we can go back to actually fixing and maintaining stuff."

Kurt is starting to see how Sebastian fits into _that_ particular crowd.

There are wild objections and murmurs of irritation all around him, but Kurt can't really find it in him to care. He has barely grasped the system they're currently using; he's mostly on the intranet and the blog anyway, and he really doubts that the concept of 'publish new entry' will be _that_ hard to understand in a new system. He knows their current systems have issues and have crashed a few times, and considering how much &brave is growing, Kurt doubts that they're making these changes just to piss off the staff.

However, when Monday rolls around, Kurt pretty much wants to march down to IT and kick them all in the balls. Or wherever it hurts the most. Everything is _chaos_.

No one understands anything, and Kurt is taking the most of the crap for it. Not that they're blaming him or anything, but they're taking most of their frustration out on him, and he's the one who has to call tech support. They're supposed to be calling the on-call number for everything today, but every time Kurt has tried, he's been told that _Sales has priority, we'll try and get to you as fast as we can_. Kurt gets it, he really does, of course sales should have priority because that's what the company does-sell. But now it's almost lunchtime, and Kurt doubts that anyone on this floor has gotten anything done today, so he digs into his desk drawer to try and find Sebastian's business card.

"Sebastian Smythe, IT department," Sebastian answers, and Kurt can hear that his patience is wearing thin.

"Hi, Kurt Hummel, Marketing," Kurt says, adapting his professional voice, because he needs someone here. "We're having troubles with the new system, and-"

"I'd love to help, honey, but we're pretty busy down here, too, so I can't-"

"I will supply you with coffee and buy you lunch," Kurt interrupts. "Seriously, it's this or they'll plant snake babies in your shoes when you're not looking. I'm not kidding, we haven't been able to get anything done today, at all."

Sebastian sighs. "Snake babies?" he says.

"With fangs."

"Fine, I'll be there in five minutes. Milk, no sugar."

"_Thank you._"

When Sebastian exits the elevator a few minutes later, Kurt's co-workers cheer.

"Holy crap, what did you do, Hummel?" Chris, who has the desk next to Kurt, asks. "Bribe him?"

"Yes," Kurt replies, right at the same time as Sebastian mutters something that sounds suspiciously like _snakes_ under his breath. Kurt smirks.

"I may have used one of your more creative threats, too," he adds, making no attempt to hide his amusement when Sebastian glares at him.

"Whatever, I just want to be able to work," Chris says. "And wow, _that_ is something I never thought I'd say."

Sebastian sits down heavily in Kurt's chair.

"Coffee," he says. "Then you can tell me all about your problems."

~x~o~x~o~x~o~x~

Sebastian ends up staying for the rest of the day. Kurt follows him around, watching silently as Sebastian does updates and fixes codes, instructs people on how to use the system and shows them the help menu. Kurt tries to memorize as much as possible, so he can be of some help in the future. Sebastian is annoyed at first, sniping at Kurt constantly, but when Kurt makes good on his promise to supply him with coffee and runs out to buy them lunch, he softens a bit.

"So, where you from?" Kurt asks, dangling his legs from where he's perched on the desk next to the computer Sebastian is working on.

"Why does it matter?" Sebastian replies, not looking up from where he's punching the keyboard.

Kurt shrugs. "It doesn't. I'm just curious. Most of the people here are either _from_ here, or the west coast, and I'm not."

"I'm from Ohio," Sebastian replies, leaning back in the chair while the computer reboots. Kurt's jaw drops.

"Really?"

"Yeah. You have a problem with that?"

"No, no, I'm just-I'm from Ohio, too," Kurt says.

"Really?" Sebastian does a once-over on Kurt, as if seeing him for the first time all over again. "You made it out of there alive?"

Kurt crosses his arms over his chest and narrows his eyes. "Obviously," he mutters.

"Hey, no offence. I'm impressed!" Sebastian interjects.

"Riiight," Kurt says, but he uncrosses his arms. "Sure you are, Mr. Ophidiophobia."

"Shut up," Sebastian mutters.

"I thought you were supposed to be brave. It says so on your business card."

Sebastian gives him a _bitch, please_ look that rivals Kurt's own. "I'm not in charge of the business cards. Yours have to be the same. What do they even say? 'Blogger and brave'? It's ridiculous. I mean, 'tech support and brave,' what does that even mean? That I face dangers of dust underneath your desks all day?"

"I was actually considering coming down to kick you in the balls if you didn't help us," Kurt tells him conversationally, extremely amused at Sebastian's mocking of their company's, admittedly, sometimes stupid usage of the name.

"Yeah, well, I'm here now, so don't." Sebastian gets up and looks around for the owner of the computer. When he spots her, he waves her over. He starts to explain the system to her, but Kurt tunes him out; he's already heard this five times today.

Kurt is staring distantly out through the window, mentally going over the blog post he has to write tomorrow, when Sebastian interrupts his thoughts.

"Hey, so, I'm done now," he says, shoving his hands into his pockets. "You should be able to get through tomorrow, at least. I have to head back down now and face my boss."

"Oh, is he mad?" Kurt asks, suddenly feeling guilty. Sebastian pulls up his phone.

"I have fourteen missed calls from him. Yeah, I think he's pretty mad." He says it casually, so Kurt is pretty sure Sebastian won't be killed, but it still makes him feel bad.

"I'm sorry."

Sebastian shrugs. "Feel free to take me out to lunch tomorrow, if I'm still alive by then."

Kurt smiles, trying to will down the blush in his cheeks. "I can do that."

~x~o~x~o~x~o~x~

The weeks leading up to Christmas pass in a blur. Kurt does take Sebastian out to lunch the day after implementation, but after that they barely see each other except for a few coffee breaks together. The system runs smoothly and they're both deeply buried in their own work. Things do ease up in time for the company's Christmas party, though.

Kurt wasn't going to go, at first. He's flying out to Ohio tomorrow afternoon, and he wanted to be home and relax and pack, but Rachel told him the night before that Brody was coming over, and yeah, _no_. Kurt wasn't going to stay home for that. So, Christmas party at the office was the next best thing. And Sebastian might have asked him in the elevator the other day if he was coming. That _maybe_ affects Kurt's decision. Maybe.

Sebastian is late, though. Or, 'late' is kind of an understatement when he still hasn't shown up two hours into the party. Kurt is considering leaving. He likes his co-workers, he's better friends with the people here than the people at , because the people here are closer to his age, but it's not that. It's more the fact that he's staying sober, and they're not.

The elevator dings, and just as he's about to get in, the person inside steps out. It's Sebastian.

"Hey," he smiles. "Sorry I'm- Are you leaving?"

Kurt shrugs. "Not much to do here besides get drunk," he says.

"And you're not up for that?"

"Oh, I don't have anything against being drunk, but the morning after is...something I can live without."

"I have a feeling there's a story behind that," Sebastian smirks, still blocking the way into the elevator. "Care to tell me?"

"I- I really can't stay," Kurt says, glancing at the elevator doors. Sebastian quirks an eyebrow.

"But, baby, it's cold outside," Sebastian quips.

Kurt holds his breath. This is it. Something reminds him of Blaine in a painful way and then he's spiraling fast. It's how it's been for two years.

Except- nothing happens. No overwhelming need to cry, no tight feeling in his chest. He's just- he just had a guy quote _Baby, it's cold outside_ to him, and it didn't hurt. He stares at Sebastian.

"Yeah. Okay. I can stay for awhile."

~x~o~x~o~x~o~x~

'Awhile' ends up being three hours, and it's late when Kurt and Sebastian get out of the office. They're about to head in their different directions, when Sebastian clears his throat.

"So, when's your flight tomorrow?"

"Four oh five or four fifteen," Kurt replies, frowning as he tries to remember. "Some time then."

"Do you want to come back to my place?"

Kurt shouldn't. He really shouldn't, because he still has to do some last minute packing, and he actually needs to _sleep_, but... Brody's probably still there. And, to be honest, he really wants to follow Sebastian home. He's been hoping that what they've been doing was leading up to this.

He likes Sebastian. He likes how he makes him feel. Kurt has been on a few dates the past two years, but nothing has felt _right_; he hasn't been at ease with them as he had with Blaine. But with Sebastian he is. They're good together. They have this friction between them that Kurt has never experienced before, and he likes it. A lot.

"Yes."

~x~o~x~o~x~o~x~

Sebastian lives only a couple of blocks away, so they walk. It _is_ cold, Sebastian wasn't kidding when he flirted with Kurt those hours ago, and they're pressed up against each other before the elevator doors close behind them. It's cold noses against rosy cheeks, and chapped lips against soft ones and _oh, god_, Kurt can't believe how much he's missed this.

When the elevator dings they stumble out together, Sebastian walking backwards and refusing to let go of Kurt. He pushes Kurt up against what Kurt assumes (hopes) is his front door, barely pulling away to even breathe while getting up his keys and unlocking the door. After almost tumbling to the floor when the lock gives, they right themselves two feet apart and just stand there for a few seconds, panting and staring at each other.

"Are you sure about this?" Sebastian asks and turns around to hang up his coat.

"Yeah? I mean- yes. Why do you ask?" Kurt asks warily. He's sure about this. Of course he's sure about this, why _wouldn't_ he be sure about this?

Okay, so he's not sure about this. Kurt is ninety-nine percent sure he's going to have some kind of sex tonight, and it will be the first time since Blaine and no, he's not sure, but he _wants it_.

"Good," Sebastian says, interrupting his thoughts and crowding him up against the wall. "Because I really, really want to blow you. That okay?"

Kurt swallows. _You matter_ suddenly flies through his head and he has to force himself not to cringe at having his father's voice in his head when he's half-hard and his lips are swollen from kissing. Yeah, he matters, but seriously, his _cock_ matters, too, and it's been over two years. Over two years, and Blaine did give _awesome_ blowjobs, and- Kurt has _needs_, okay?

"Fine by me," Kurt says, a little breathlessly, grabbing Sebastian by the collar and pulling him down for a deep kiss.

They stumble through the apartment to the bedroom, and the fact that Kurt doesn't even take time to take in the decor is actually saying a lot about him right now.

Kurt's heart is beating wildly in his chest while Sebastian unbuttons his cardigan, and he's surprised that Sebastian doesn't notice (or at least he doesn't comment on it). Kurt has never done this before, the only other person he's ever had sex with was someone he knew and trusted with his life. Not that Sebastian is a total stranger, but it's still... New. Different. _Exciting_. Kurt is just about to go in for another kiss, when Sebastian finishes with the last button and pushes him back onto the bed. Kurt glances back at the wall and judges the distance so he can avoid hitting his head (Sebastian has his bed pushed up against the wall, how weird is _that_?) and then he crawls back until he's a little more comfortable. Sebastian follows, straddles his hips and leans down to kiss him while he starts on the buttons on Kurt's dress shirt.

"Too many buttons," he murmurs against Kurt's lips. He reaches the bottom one, purposefully grazing his hand against Kurt's cock, and lets out a disappointed whine when he pulls the shirt apart and sees Kurt's undershirt. "Too many _layers_," he mutters, not bothering to take off the clothes; he just pushes the undershirt up to reveal Kurt's chest and strokes across it with a pleased smile. "Better."

"Mm, yeah," Kurt agrees, letting his head fall back and his eyes fall close. When Sebastian starts working on the button in his pants, his eyes fly open again and he sits up, almost causing Sebastian to fall over.

"Uhm, do you have-," Kurt starts, unsure how to finish, because _hello awkward_. Sebastian gives him a wry smile.

"Condoms? Yeah, don't worry."

"Good," Kurt breathes out and lets his head fall back down. Sebastian continues with his fly, letting out a frustrated huff when he starts pulling the pants down.

"How did you get these things _on_?" he asks, tugging the pants with no avail. Kurt takes pity on him and raises his hips and pulls his skinny jeans off, effortlessly.

"Practice," he says and flops back down on the bed. "Now, as you were." He's going for suave but probably failing, because he'd gone commando and is now laying completely exposed from mid-chest and down, and he can feel Sebastian's eyes on him.

"That was unexpected," Sebastian says approvingly, reaching into his bedside table for condoms.

"It wouldn't be unexpected if you knew how to wear pants that fit," Kurt replies. Sebastian just arches an eyebrow.

"I seem to recall you being pretty approving of the way my pants fit," he smirks, and Kurt blushes when he recalls that day.

"Shut up," he says.

Sebastian straddles him again. "Make me."

Kurt grabs him by the collar (he's still _dressed_ and Kurt is _half-naked_ oh, god) and drags him down to do exactly that. It's wet and sloppy and too much tongue and Kurt is _hard_ against Sebastian's jeans and he doesn't care half as much as he probably should.

"I thought you were gonna blow me," he says, panting hard against Sebastian's lips when they break apart, their faces still too close to be able to focus on each other.

"I am," Sebastian says, just as breathlessly, and presses one last kiss onto Kurt's lips before sliding down the bed and kneeling on the floor between Kurt's legs. He grabs a condom and tears the foil wrapper open, pulls it out and rolls it onto Kurt's cock effortlessly, like he's done this a million times before (oh god what if he _has_; holy shit Kurt has _no idea_ what he's gotten himself into, has he?). Kurt glances down at him, takes in the sight of a gorgeous man kneeling between his legs and moans just at that. Sebastian meets his eyes and smirks, sinks his mouth over Kurt's cock, and sucks.

"Oh, god," Kurt gasps and leans his head back, exposing his neck and trying to focus on a spot on the ceiling so this won't be over in one point two seconds. He clutches the sheet hard, his knuckles turning white, because _shit_ Sebastian _really_ knows what he's doing, and Kurt doesn't care if this is the two thousand blowjob Sebastian has ever given because it is _so worth it_.

Not that Kurt will ever admit it out loud, but he actually misses the wet and sloppy part of this just a little. He and Blaine were each other's firsts, they didn't bother with condoms when they did oral, and Kurt _liked_ the mess of it, but he can't really complain about this, at all. Sebastian's mouth is hot and his lips are tight around Kurt's cock and even through the latex, Kurt can feel _every_ movement of his tongue.

Then one of Sebastian's hands disappears from Kurt's leg, and moments later he's touching Kurt's hand, grazing over his knuckles, before grabbing his fingers and leading them to the back of Sebastian's head. A surge of heat rushes through Kurt and he obediently grabs at Sebastian's hair, tangles his fingers in the strands in a way he wasn't allowed to with Blaine and he needs to _stop thinking about Blaine when he's having sex with another guy_. He tugs a little and Sebastian moans, the vibrations amplifying around Kurt's cock and _dear, lord_. Both of Sebastian's hands are back on Kurt's legs now, one of them trailing up where Kurt's balls are tightly drawn and he hisses at the lightest of touches; he's so _sensitive_ damn it, and he's so _close_ and this is going to be embarrassing.

"I'm close," he pants out, and Sebastian seems to take that as a cue, because he takes Kurt even deeper, almost the whole way, and swallows around him. Kurt clenches harder around the hair between his fingers, almost unconsciously pulling Sebastian closer, forcing him to take in that last bit, too. Sebastian doesn't protest, he just _takes it_, has all of Kurt's cock in his mouth, and Kurt is _gone_. He arches his hips up, past being able to think about Sebastian, and feels his come pulse out into the condom to a steady stream of '_oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck_'. When he's spent, he slumps down on the bed and tugs on Sebastian's hair again, now to get him away, because he's getting over-sensitive and he can't deal with that _too_ right now.

Sebastian rises from where he's been kneeling on the floor and lays down on the bed beside Kurt instead. He's still fully dressed, and Kurt can't help the surge of mixed pride and arousal that goes through his body when he takes in Sebastian's appearance; with swollen lips and hair that's wet with perspiration at the hairline and sticking out in all directions.

"Good?" Sebastian asks with a cocky smile.

"No, you sucked," Kurt deadpans.

Sebastian huffs a laugh. "Yeah, I did." He props himself up on one elbow and trails a finger down Kurt's stomach. He flickers his eyes down to where he's obviously hard in his pants, and then meets Kurt's gaze with a raised eyebrow. Kurt rolls his eyes, but it's not like he can deny Sebastian anything after he gave Kurt the most mind blowing orgasm he has had in actual _years_. He pushes at Sebastian's shoulder so he's flat on his back, and then climbs over him, straddling his legs. He's feeling a little self-conscious being the only one naked, so he starts to work on the buttons in Sebastian's shirt immediately. When he peels away the black fabric, he's not disappointed. Sebastian is surprisingly fit for someone who works with computers, and Kurt's surprise must show on his face, because Sebastian smirks at him.

"Yes, I have abs. No, they don't come cheap."

Kurt pinches his nipple and smirks back when Sebastian hisses at the pain.

"Yeah, shut up," Kurt murmurs, flicking his gaze all over Sebastian's torso, taking in the sight.

"Kurt, come on," Sebastian says impatiently. "You can look later." He thrusts up a little, letting his jeans rub against Kurt's skin.

"You're so impatient," Kurt says, but he starts to unbutton Sebastian's pants.

"I'm _horny_," Sebastian corrects, reaching down to help Kurt open his pants and then drag them down to mid-thigh. Kurt raises an unimpressed eyebrow.

Sebastian rolls his eyes. "Just get on with it. _Please_."

And, well. Who is Kurt to turn down a pretty smile like that?

~x~o~x~o~x~o~x~

Kurt feels a little better about his apparent lack of stamina when Sebastian comes almost as fast. He sits up against the headboard while Sebastian is still laying across the bed, panting.

"Can I stay?" Kurt asks, picking on the corner of the covers. He doesn't look at Sebastian, and when the hesitant silence stretches on for too long, he blushes. "No, you're right, okay. Stupid. I'll just- go," Kurt says, moving to get out of bed. Sebastian reaches out to put a hand on Kurt's ankle.

"You can stay," he says. Kurt sits back and watches him carefully.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. People just-usually don't."

Kurt doesn't know how to respond to that, so he just settles back against the headboard again and pulls the covers up over his legs. Sebastian sits up with a heavy sigh, crosses the floor to turn off the overhead lights, leaving the room in almost complete darkness. Kurt blinks a few times to get used to the faint glow coming from the street outside the window.

"Move over," Sebastian says, lifting the covers. Kurt obliges, scooting in and sliding down until his head is on the pillow.

"Why do you have your bed against the wall?" he asks, settling in on his side with his face towards Sebastian's.

"It's closer to the radiator," Sebastian replies matter-of-factly.

Kurt frowns. "Why would you want to be closer to the radiat_ooooh_ my fucking _god_," he yelps, slamming his heels against the wall in his haste to get his feet away from where Sebastian has pressed his ice cold toes against them. "_Fuck_, ow, okay, I get it." He gently puts his legs back in a comfortable position, and when Sebastian puts his toes on his shins, he's more prepared, and only hisses.

"I know," Sebastian smirks. "Hard to understand how my toes can be cold when I'm so hot, right?"

"You keep telling yourself that," Kurt mutters, closing his eyes demonstratively. Sebastian presses his toes harder to Kurt's shins for a second, but soon enough they're both asleep.

~x~o~x~o~x~o~x~

Kurt spends the next day in a flurry. He leaves Sebastian early, packs in record-time (for him), and still barely manages to get to the airport in time.

He texts Sebastian when he's sitting on the plane, waiting for take-off.

**Kurt:** Are you going to Ohio for the holidays?

**Sebastian:** Yes. Why?

**Kurt:** Maybe we could meet up?

Kurt has to turn off his phone before he can get a reply, so he spends the whole flight agonizing about sounding too forward and clingy. He turns his phone on again as soon as they land and breathes a little lighter when he reads Sebastian's _Sure_.

~x~o~x~o~x~o~x~

Kurt spends two days catching up with his friends and family, refusing to be the one who texts Sebastian first. His dad raises his eyebrows when he catches Kurt checking his phone for the fifth time in as many minutes during dinner, but he doesn't say anything, and Kurt can't help but be grateful for that.

Sebastian calls him late on the second day.

"Hey, hot stuff," Sebastian greets, and Kurt feels fifteen again when he blushes, and he's extremely glad Sebastian can't see him right now.

"Hi," Kurt says, a little bit flustered.

"Are you busy tomorrow?"

Kurt is, he's supposed to meet up with Rachel, but he _lives_ with Rachel, so, "No, I don't think so. Why?" He can hear people talking at Sebastian's end.

"Can I see you?"

"Yeah, sure. What do you want to do?"

"Where do you live?"

"Lima."

"Wow, okay. Well, it's not too far away; do you know Westerwille?"

Does he-Kurt has to take away the phone from his ear and stare at it. It hits him like a slap in the face that Sebastian knows almost nothing about Kurt's life, about Blaine. If Sebastian had gone to Dalton then maybe... No. Kurt shakes his head and sets the phone to his ear again.

"Yeah, I...know Westerwille," he says.

"There's a market, maybe we could go? It's a bit hard to find, so you could-"

"I know where it is," Kurt interrupts. "I've been there." _Twice_.

"Great! So, around eleven, that okay?"

"Yeah, sure."

Kurt hangs up, not knowing really how to feel. He has a lot of memories from that place, and he's not sure how it'll feel to go there again, with Sebastian. Then it hits him. He going there with Sebastian. He has a _date_, with _Sebastian_. There's a warm surge in his stomach that he faintly recognizes from his early days with Blaine.

_He has a date_.

~x~o~x~o~x~o~x~

Sebastian texts him to meet him at the enormous Christmas tree, so Kurt parks his car and crosses the market place. He spots Sebastian from a few feet away, and the butterflies that he had managed to quell this morning are back in full force.

When Sebastian sees Kurt, he smiles, and walks to meet him halfway. He hands Kurt a steaming paper cup and takes a sip from his own.

"Thanks for coming," he says. "I really needed to get out of there, my family drives me nuts."

Kurt's smile falters a bit. Not a date, then. Just an emergency escape plan. "No problem," he says, taking a big gulp of coffee to give himself time to school his expression. He feels a little bit better when he discovers that it's _his_ coffee order, and not generic black.

~x~o~x~o~x~o~x~

They spend the whole day at the market, walking between stands and generally just goofing around. It's nice, despite their intentions with the day being completely different, and Kurt has a good time. He's actually surprised when he checks the time on his phone for the first time since he arrived and realizes that three hours have passed.

"You have somewhere to be?" Sebastian asks when he sees what he's doing. Kurt shakes his head.

"Nope. You're stuck with me all day."

"Good. My sister-in-law is horrible and I honestly can't deal with her."

Kurt gives him a weak smile. "Good thing you have me, then."

"Yeah well, you have your uses," Sebastian smirks at him. "Come on, I need to get the shrew a Christmas present, unfortunately."

Kurt follows him like an obedient puppy. He's been waiting all day for Sebastian to give him one little hint that this might be anything more than a friendly, completely non-romantic meeting, but so far-nothing. Finally, Kurt's had enough. He flashes a quick look at Sebastian and then glances around them, before making a snap decision and linking his arm with Sebastian's. Sebastian shoots him an amused glance, but he doesn't say anything and he doesn't remove his arm, so Kurt counts it as a win. At the very least he might not be totally _opposed_ to being more than friendly.

Darkness falls quickly, and Kurt doesn't think he'll ever get over how pretty everything looks when it's covered in tiny lights.

"This is the best part of Christmas," Sebastian murmurs, pulling Kurt a little bit closer.

"What, lights?"

"Mhm."

Kurt looks at Sebastian, studies his face. He's serious. "You think lights are the absolute best part of Christmas?" he asks again. "Better than family, food, TV? Presents?"

Sebastian looks back at him, narrowing his eyes a little. "Yes," he says, a defiant tone in his voice. "Is that a problem?"

"No, not at all," Kurt hurries to say, shifting his gaze back to the display of lights in trees and statues. "I'm just surprised."

"Why? What's your favorite part?" He sounds genuinely curious, and Kurt fights the urge to smile.

"Family," he answers, without any hesitation. "I mean, it's not big, but. My dad is the most important person in my life."

"Your dad? What about-" Sebastian doesn't get any further before he's interrupted by a woman squealing his name.

"Sebastian! There you are! We've been looking for you for _ages_," she says, crossing the ground with quick strides, dragging a tired man that _has_ to be Sebastian's brother behind her. Kurt sees how Sebastian rolls his eyes and sighs, but then quickly schools his face into a fake smile and turns around.

"Hi, yeah, we got a bit lost in our own world," he says, voice dripping with false sincerity. Kurt almost winces from the sound, but the woman doesn't seem to notice. "Sorry I couldn't be there today, but it was the only day Kurt could meet up," Sebastian continues, nudging Kurt in the side, unnoticeable to the other pair.

"Yeah," Kurt says, a bit unsure. "I'm really busy the rest of the week and I really wanted to see him," he says, re-adjusting his grip on Sebastian's arm and shuffling a little bit closer, even though he just wants to get away and go home.

"Ooh, Kurt, is it?" the woman smirks, giving Kurt a once-over that leaves him feeling naked in the worst of ways. "How come you didn't tell us about him, Sebastian?"

"Because I want to keep him to myself," Sebastian replies with a too-sweet fake smile. "Now, if you-"

"You know, babe," Kurt says, sugar-coating his own voice, surprised by how easily the nickname falls from his lips. "I really need to get going. I promised my dad I would help him with dinner, and I wouldn't want to keep you from your brother that you haven't even introduced me to." The brother gives him a look that's equal parts amused and approving, and Kurt feels a jolt of victory. Sebastian's smile falters for a second, but he finds himself quick enough.

"You're sure you can't stay a little longer?" he asks, and he sounds sweet, but the look in his eyes is desperate.

Kurt needs to get out, though. He needs to get away from Sebastian and deal with the mixed signals he's been getting today. "No, I can't. I'm sorry." He lets his arm slip from Sebastian, ignores the way Sebastian's fingers catch on his arm. "Nice meeting you," he says to the brother and his wife, even though he doesn't even know their names.

"Hey!" Sebastian protests and grabs his arm before he can get too far away. He pulls Kurt to him until they're pressed chest to chest. "Didn't think you'd get away without a goodbye kiss, did you?" he murmurs, before leaning down and claiming Kurt's lips in a kiss, the first they've shared since the night before Kurt left, but definitely not the first Kurt had _thought_ they'd share today.

They pull away with a smack, and Kurt is vaguely aware that he's probably looking somewhat dazed, and he's shaken out of it when he sees the smirk playing in the corner of Sebastian's mouth.

"Can I go _now_?" Kurt asks, but all the sarcasm he wanted to put into it is distant.

Sebastian gives him one more quick peck. "Yes. Now you can go."

~x~o~x~o~x~o~x~

Kurt really doesn't know what to make of the day. He thought he'd had it with boys and Katy Perry songs, but no, this one is fucking _impersonating_ one what with being hot and cold and yes and no. He'd been so happy last night when Sebastian called, and then crushed when he realized that he was nothing more than an excuse to get out of the house.

Sebastian had been really sweet during the day, though. He had behaved as if they were on a date (minus the kissing that Kurt had somewhat expected). And then, just, in a split second, back to being acquaintances, at the most.

He punches the power button for the radio and turns the volume up until it's just almost too loud, loses himself in the music instead of thinking, because if he thinks too much about this he will go insane.

He doesn't need to help with dinner. Carole has it all down, and he already knew that. Not that Sebastian will ever know (or care, for that matter). His dad picks up on his mood while they're eating, though, and Kurt supposes it isn't hard to do when he has gone from checking his phone constantly, to leaving it in his room.

"You okay, Kurt?"

Kurt nods while he picks at his food. He is, really. He can't let one not-date with someone he _isn't even dating_ get him down. He needs to be okay with this.

"Yeah. I'm just tired; I've been out all day."

His dad eyes him suspiciously, but he can't really force Kurt to talk, so he lets it be.

~x~o~x~o~x~o~x~

Kurt manages to keep himself busy enough during the next week. He catches up with his old friends, hangs out with his dad and Finn at the shop, and gets some work done. He'd promised to fire off a few blog posts during the holidays in exchange for the time off, and since half the staff was off anyway, there wasn't much for him to do there.

Sebastian texts him, too. There's a quick "_sorry about that, are we cool?_" the day after the market, to which Kurt replies "_yes, we're fine_," because what is he supposed to say? He's an adult, and they have to work together. Kurt still doesn't initiate any conversations, but Sebastian keeps sending him pictures of different light displays around Westerville. He seems to be taking a lot of walks, or runs. He's well trained, they could very well be runs. On Christmas Day, Kurt makes it a conscious decision to leave his phone in his room all day; choosing to spend all the time with people he is dead sure actually care about him.

When he goes up to fetch something in the early evening, he checks his phone, and finds a number of texts from Sebastian that progresses from him being slightly bored, to what Kurt is going to assume is drunk out of his mind, judging by the last texts.

**8.14 am** "I have never understood the point of Christmas trees"

**8.20 am** "I mean the lights are pretty but what's the POINT?"

**12.31 pm** "Do you really spend all day with your family?"

**3.43 pm** "I think I might have mixed a bit too much alcohol in this"

**4.10 pm** "No let me revise: there's no such thing as too much alcohol"

**4.30 pm** "Am I annoying you? Are you even reading this?"

**5.12 pm** "Wow okay maybe there is something like too much alcohol"

**6.47 pm** "I almost feel down the stairs"

**6.49 pm** "I want this day to be over"

**7.23 pm** "I'm horny"

**7.25 pm** "If you were here I'd blow you"

**7.25 pm** "Or fuck you"

**7.27 pm** "Fuck I bet you have an amazing ass"

**7.32 pm** "I need to go to bed"

**7.34 pm** "Why isn't 8 legal bedtime on Christmas day"

Kurt suspects he has autocorrect to thank for the fact that the texts are even readable. He sends off a "Is someone actively stopping you from going to bed?" and then puts the phone away again, no matter how tempting it is to bring it back down.

He's met with a new array of text when he goes to bed, past midnight.

**8.10 pm** "Honestly wish you were here"

**8.15 pm** "I'd fuck you so hard"

**8.17 pm** "I'm passing some sort of line now aren't I'm drunk"

**8.43 pm** "Ok no the shrew can say whatever she wants I'm gonna go jerk off now"

**8.44 pm** "And I'll be thinking of you"

**9.03 pm** "As far as jerkoffs on Christmas goes that was a plus"

Kurt can feel himself blush at the words on the screen, even though no one else is nearby. There's quite a time jump to the next one and the blush dies quickly when he reads it.

**11.25 pm** "I'm beginning to sober up now"

**11.27 pm** "Oh. That happened didn't it"

**11.31 pm** "Sorry"

**11.43 pm** "Going back to NY day after tomorrow so I'll see you after new years"

Kurt puts down the phone and tries to not let it get to him while he undresses and puts on his pajamas. He wants to call Sebastian; ask him what he meant, if he meant what he said, if there's anything substantial behind the drunken texts, if he- Kurt takes a deep breath. No. He won't let this ruin the holidays. He's going to put Sebastian out of his mind, and deal with whatever there is between them when he comes back to New York.

He's an adult. He can do this.

~x~o~x~o~x~o~x~

It works, for the most part. It's not like they were complete strangers before the office Christmas party; they'd had coffee together a few times, and Kurt would at least consider them friends. He stumbles across things throughout his days that he knows would make Sebastian laugh, or perk his interest, or make him scoff, or just... Kurt misses him, he realizes that. He also realizes that he's in completely over his head and that he needs to get out as soon as possible.

Except he doesn't want to.

Some part of him wants this, wants an office romance that turns out to just be convenient casual sex that doesn't lead to a relationship. Another part wants to explore the possibility of something more, because he _likes_ Sebastian. Or at least he likes Sebastian when Sebastian likes him back and doesn't act like an indecisive jerk.

~x~o~x~o~x~o~x~

Kurt and Rachel fly back to New York on the second of January. Kurt's, and everyone else's, first day back is the third, and at ten there's an office-wide meeting. Kurt is the last one to get in, because he had to call his boss and usher her in, so he's standing against the wall next to the door. Apparently, he's the only one who actually reads the stuff that gets put up on the intranet because he already knows everything the bosses are saying. He spends the time organizing his calendar on his phone.

A couple of minutes into the meeting, the door slides open slowly and quietly, and Sebastian slinks into the room. He sees Kurt and smiles, settling himself against the wall beside him.

"Did I miss anything?" he whispers. Kurt shakes his head. "Good." Sebastian glances down at the phone in Kurt's hand and Kurt can swear he sees him blush a little. He leans into Kurt to be able to keep his voice low as he speaks. "Look, I'm really sorry about, uhm, Christmas Day," he says. Kurt shrugs. He's had time to think it through and over-analyze it ten times over, and now it's no big deal to him anymore.

"It's okay," he whispers back. "It was... oddly flattering."

In the blink of an eye, Sebastian's embarrassment is gone, and a small smirk takes its place. "Really?" He leans even closer, until his lips are grazing the shell of Kurt's ear when he speaks. "I didn't lie. You do have an amazing ass."

Now it's Kurt's turn to blush, and he glares at Sebastian, who only winks back. "I'm just saying," he sing-songs, a little too loud apparently, because he earns a vicious glare from someone in front of them. He opens his mouth to say something, whether it's a reply to the girl, or something to Kurt, Kurt doesn't know, and before Sebastian can get a word out, he's reaching into his pocket and fishes up his phone. The display is lit up with an incoming call, and Sebastian shoots Kurt an apologetic glance before sneaking out in the corridor again to take the call.

He doesn't come back.

~x~o~x~o~x~o~x~

After the meeting, it's a few days before they even see each other again. Being back is hectic for both Kurt and Sebastian, but about a week into the new work year, there's a spectacular multiple computer crash on their floor, and Kurt has to call the support.

"Hey, hot stuff," Sebastian greets, and Kurt isn't sure if he wants to know if Sebastian is alone, or if he just doesn't care about the impression he gives off to the people around him when he answers a phone call that way. Then again, his ringtone _is_ Justin Timberlake's _SexyBack_, so there is a very big possibility that Sebastian just doesn't give a fuck.

"Hi, this is Kurt Hummel," Kurt says, because he wants to give of a somewhat professional vibe. He can practically hear Sebastian's condescending eyeroll and the accompanying smirk.

"Hello, Kurt Hummel. What can I do to you this fine day?" Sebastian mocks. Kurt narrows his eyes, despite Sebastian being several _floors_ below him.

"Half of the computers on the marketing floor are down; we could really need some help."

"You could, hmm?" Sebastian drawls, and Kurt is prepared to make a case for himself, but it turns out it isn't necessary. "I'll be there in five. Have coffee ready, it sounds like I'll need it."

~x~o~x~o~x~o~x~

Kurt has Sebastian's coffee ready and hands it to him as soon as he steps out of the elevator. Sebastian shoots him a grateful look and downs half of it in one go, barely showing any reaction to the heat.

"So, what's the problem?"

Kurt gives him a breakdown of what he knows while they walk over to the war zone.

"I thought you were supposed to be more tech-savvy than this," Sebastian says as he sits down in a chair and eyes the mess. "You were born in the nineties."

"So?" Kurt asks, not following.

"So am I. And I grew up practically attached to a computer. See also: all of my friends." He's not looking at Kurt anymore, instead checking all the cables connected to the computers and the docking stations. He does look back at Kurt for his next comment though. "We're two of the youngest people in the office. This comes more naturally to us than to anyone else here."

"You're stupid," Kurt says, crossing his arms and leaning back against the desk Sebastian is currently under. "I grew up in a garage. I know cars, not computers."

Sebastian bangs his head on the underside of the desk in his haste to get out and stare at Kurt. "You? Know cars?" he asks, incredulous and a little bit condescending. Kurt regrets already having his arms crossed. He glares at Sebastian.

"Yes. _Me_. My dad owns an auto shop; of course I know cars."

Sebastian lets his gaze sweep over Kurt's very put-together appearance. "I wouldn't have pegged you for the type," he says, obviously not believing him.

Kurt rolls his eyes. "Hey, Chris!" he shouts across the office. Several heads snap up to stare at him, but Kurt ignores him until the person he's calling looks up from his place next to Kurt's desk.

"Yeah?" he calls back, frowning.

"Who fixed that rattling noise your car did just before Thanksgiving?" Kurt asks, still half-shouting.

"Uhm, you?" Chris says, obviously not following. "Don't know what you did, man, but it runs better than ever."

Kurt gives him a wave, signaling that the conversation is over, and turns back to Sebastian with an '_I told you so_' look. Now it's Sebastian's turn to roll his eyes.

"Fine, you're a mechanic god, whatever," he mutters, but his eyes linger on Kurt's hips for too long for Kurt to really believe in his bitterness.

~x~o~x~o~x~o~x~

It takes an hour, and a lot of swearing from Sebastian, but he manages to fix the problem. Of course he manages to fix the problem, it's his _job_. Kurt has spent the last forty minutes debating on whether or not he dares to ask Sebastian out. When he actually gets handed the tablet to fill in the evaluation for himself this time, he decides that he can go for it.

"Have you seen the new Spiderman movie?" he asks as he hands back the tablet, everything filled in to Sebastian's (and his bosses') satisfaction. It's one of the few series they've both been able to agree on during their sparse meetings in the fall.

"No, but I hear it's good," Sebastian says as he puts the tablet back in his bag. "Why?"

Kurt shrugs, trying to appear calm even though his heart is beating wildly in his chest. "Maybe we could go and see it together?"

"Yeah, maybe."

"Like maybe this Friday?" Kurt prompts.

Sebastian shrugs. "Okay." He shoulders his bag. "I have to go now. Try to keep the crashes to a minimum, yeah? Not that I don't like your face, but there are better circumstances when I can see you." He winks and heads off, and Kurt doesn't stop staring after him until the elevator doors close and he can't see Sebastian anymore.

Movie, on a Friday night, just the two of them.

It's a fucking _date_.

~x~o~x~o~x~o~x~

Kurt spends way, _way_ too long getting ready on Friday. When Rachel refuses to even answer the fifth time he asks her if he looks alright, he assumes that he's at least not looking _bad_, so he pulls on his coat and heads out.

His phone chimes with a text as soon as he's stepping off the train.

**Sebastian:** "Sorry, can't make it. Raincheck?"

Kurt almost turns on the spot to get on the train back, but he stops himself. He's an adult. He doesn't need to go home just because his date cancelled (_bailed_) on him. He can go to the movies alone. It's no problem.

Except-it kind of is. Kurt is distracted the whole movie, if someone would ask him to recap it afterward he won't be able to tell them anything. He's annoyed. Sebastian didn't even give him a reason, he just flat out bailed on a date. Kurt spends the train ride home working up his irritation, and slams the front door shut with much more force than necessary.

"He bailed on me," he snaps out at Rachel's questioning expression, then he stalks off to his side of the room without another word and tugs his curtains closed.

It takes him a long time to fall asleep. When the rain starts to prickle on the roof he wants to cry, because he knows what comes next, and he snapped at Rachel so she'll be pissed at him and-

He doesn't get any further before there's that first crash of thunder and his mind goes blank. He pulls the covers up to his nose and curls in on himself, like feathers in his comforter will be enough to protect him. He doesn't see or hear Rachel push the curtains away but he feels the dip in the mattress and the rush of cold air when she lifts the covers to slide in under them. Her silk-covered arm curls around his waist, and when he takes a deep breath to calm himself he smells her shampoo.

"Thanks," he murmurs, scooting further into her embrace while the thunder roars outside and makes their window panes rattle.

"Anytime," she replies, and with her rhythmic breathing in his ear, Kurt finally falls asleep.

~x~o~x~o~x~o~x~

Saturday feels like syrup. Not in the sweet sense, but in that it passes really slowly. Kurt doesn't sleep well plastered against another body, but it's still better than a full-blown panic attack. He's still pretty tired when he wakes up, though, and spends the morning lounging around in his pajamas while Rachel practices dance moves around him.

His phone goes off, signaling an incoming text, sometime mid-afternoon when they're halfway through a Top Model marathon. Kurt almost considers not getting up, because he's really comfortable where he's slouching on the couch, but he knows that the curiosity will get the better of him sooner or later.

**Sebastian:** Sorry about yesterday! Are you free tonight?

Kurt twirls his phone in his hand, staring unseeingly at the TV. He'd be lying if he says he's busy, but he doesn't know if he wants to see Sebastian tonight.

He snorts at himself. Who is he trying to fool?

**Kurt:** Yeah, why?

**Sebastian:** You want to come over?

Kurt weighs his options. He could stay at home and continue his pity party, feeling sorry for himself for being stood up on a casual movie date, or... He glances down at his crotch. Or, he could drag his sorry ass across town and probably get laid. By a hot guy. Who, sure, did stand him up on a date, and was very unclear about his intentions with the (not)date before that - but who also blatantly checks Kurt out whenever he gets the opportunity, who _wants_ to see him, obviously.

He looks over at Rachel who's currently tapping away on her own phone on the other end of the couch. He nudges her thigh gently with his toes, making her look up.

"Brody's coming over," she says. "Is that okay?"

Kurt looks down at his own phone again.

**Kurt:** I'll be there in an hour.

~x~o~x~o~x~o~x~

Kurt ends up staying at Sebastian's until late Sunday afternoon. Sure, a big part of that time is spent having sex, but they catch some bad Sunday morning TV, and they eventually have to eat, too. All in all, Kurt considers it a pretty successful weekend, despite the date fail on Friday. He doesn't mention it to Sebastian when he's there, because he doesn't want to sound like a petulant teenager, and Sebastian doesn't bring it up, either.

Kurt doesn't know what they are, and he definitely doesn't want to _ask_, so when he gets to work on Monday morning, he's a little unsure of how he's supposed to behave towards Sebastian.

Turns out, he doesn't have to worry about that _at all_. It's a busy day; Kurt barely has time to grab lunch, much less talk to anyone who isn't involved in his immediate work tasks. They manage, miraculously, to get through the day without one single technical mishap - that is, until it's ten past five and everyone has left the office.

Everyone except for Kurt, who still has to print the handouts for the 8am meeting tomorrow. Everything goes smoothly until it doesn't, and Kurt is left standing at the beeping printer with no clue what to do about it. He sighs and picks up his phone, tapping into his contacts.

"Please tell me you're still at the office," he says as soon as Sebastian picks up, not even giving him a chance to greet him.

"Actually, yes," Sebastian says. "I was just about to leave. Why?"

"Oh, thank god. I need your help; the printer isn't working."

"Kurt, go home. I'll look at it tomorrow."

"But I need the copies now! Or I need them 8am sharp tomorrow, but right now that's basically the same thing. Please."

Sebastian sighs resignedly at the other end. "_Fine_. But you owe me for this."

"_Thank you_."

~x~o~x~o~x~o~x~

Sebastian doesn't look too thrilled when he enters the office a couple of minutes later, but he does fire off a smile to Kurt when he spots him in the doorway to the printer room.

Well, 'room' is probably too generous a description for the _closet_ that it actually is, but that's details.

"Thanks," Kurt says again, stepping back into the room (closet). Sebastian follows him and almost walks straight into the chair holding the door open. He swears under his breath and kicks it away before Kurt can react, and when the door inevitably shuts behind Sebastian, they're left in total darkness, except for the glow from the touch panel on the printer. Sebastian reaches back to open the door again, but it won't budge. He looks at Kurt.

"Yeah," Kurt says, his eyes quickly adjusting to the dim light, letting him take in Sebastian's appearance. "It only opens from the outside. And the light only works when the door is open," he adds when Sebastian starts to fumble along the wall for the light switch.

"Are you serious?" Sebastian asks him.

Kurt huffs. "I think... Sarah, is that her name? I think we've called her about this about fifty times. And that's only since _I_ got here."

"Yeah, she's... getting fired, actually," Sebastian sighs.

"No surprise there."

"How do we get out, then?"

"Call someone, I guess. I'm usually not here alone."

Sebastian pulls out his phone and scrolls through his contacts. "Jess? Yeah, Sebastian Smythe, hi. Are you far away from the office yet? No? Oh, please, do _not_ get on that subway, I'm stuck in a closet on the marketing floor. Yes, ha ha, very funny. No, I'm here with Hummel. Yeah. Okay. Okay, see you soon." He ends the call and puts the phone back in his pocket. "He'll be here in half an hour," he says to Kurt. He looks at the printer. "So. What's the problem?"

Sebastian solves the problem in less than a minute, and Kurt is pleasantly surprised when he realizes that Sebastian could've just as well told him how to do over the phone, but he still took the time to come here. He makes Kurt sign into his user box and print the rest of the handouts under his watch, but when they're done there's not much else to do.

"You and me, alone, in a dark closet after hours," Sebastian muses where he stands closer than necessary to Kurt, staring down at the touch panel as if it's the most fascinating thing in the world. To be honest, it _is_ the most fascinating thing in the room right now. "Whatever should we do."

There's a teasing hint in his voice, and Kurt isn't sure if he should be excited or worried.

"Play twenty questions," Kurt deadpans, fiddling with the papers. Sebastian snorts.

"Or you could blow me," he suggests, bumping his hip with Kurt's, but Kurt can tell that he's not completely joking.

They're alone for at least another twenty minutes. It's dark, cramped, and they have nothing to do.

"Or _you_ could blow _me_," Kurt counters.

In lieu of a reply, Sebastian just grabs Kurt's arm and pushes him up against the shelves that line the wall.

"That is a _really_ good idea," he murmurs against the soft skin on Kurt's neck, making him shiver, slides his hands along Kurt's sides and settles on his waist, gripping him and pulling him close to claim his lips for a kiss. Kurt replies in kind, wrapping his arms around Sebastian's neck and keeping him close, moaning into his mouth when Sebastian slides his hand even lower to cup Kurt through his pants.

"Do you-_ah_-do you have a condom?" Kurt asks as Sebastian mouths at his jaw. The movement stops and Sebastian sighs heavily.

"No."

They stay still for a few seconds, just breathing heavily, before Sebastian continues to trail his lips up to Kurt's ear. "Guess I'll have to take matters into my own hand," he says softly, unbuttoning Kurt's pants with practiced ease and sliding his hand inside.

"Fine by me," Kurt gasps, angling his head to give Sebastian better access. Sebastian removes his hand from Kurt's cock and grabs him by the hips instead, shuffling them both over so that Kurt is leaning against the door instead. Kurt thumps his head against the door, thankful that he doesn't have to worry about a box of paper falling down on him if he jerks too hard. Sebastian finds his way back to Kurt's pants, tugging them down along with his underwear to pull out his cock. He meets Kurt's eyes and brings up his hand to lick his palm, making Kurt groan when he wants to keep looking, but also close his eyes because the image is _too much_.

"Fuck," he breathes out when Sebastian grasps his cock again, hand slicker this time and the friction _delicious_.

"Next time, maybe," Sebastian murmurs back into his ear, nuzzling the skin under his ear and pressing kisses against his neck.

"You have to ask me on a date for there to be a next time," Kurt says without thinking. He stills, and Sebastian stills too, his hand on Kurt's cock.

"Okay," Sebastian agrees at last, moving up to kiss him for real. Kurt moans and tangles his fingers in the hair on Sebastian's neck, pulling him closer to lick into his mouth, fucking into Sebastian's fist when he squeezes harder.

"_Fuck_, I'm gonna-" He dimly realizes that they have nothing to clean up with, but Sebastian doesn't seem too bothered by that right now; he just takes to Kurt's words and tightens his grip, jerking him a little bit faster to get him off. He slides the other hand off of Kurt's hip and back to his ass, palming his bared cheek and then dipping a finger into his crack. He doesn't even try to push it in, it's completely dry, but the gentle pressure against his rim is all Kurt needs to come, spurting messily over Sebastian's fingers.

He closes his eyes and breathes heavily for a few seconds, and when he opens them again and adjusts to the dim light, he sees Sebastian wiping his hand on the t-shirt under his hoodie.

"That's disgusting," Kurt says, wrinkling his nose. Sebastian looks up at him.

"It's one of the company polos," he says with a wry smile.

Kurt snorts. "Okay, carry on."

There's a moment of awkward silence, and then they both open their mouths to say something, but get interrupted by a knock on the door. Kurt springs into action, pulling his pants up lightning quick and dragging a hand through his hair.

"Smythe?" calls a voice from the outside. "You in there?"

"Yeah," Sebastian calls back, sounding impressively put-together. "You got here fast."

"I hurried, I figured you wouldn't want to-" He unlocks the door and the light comes on in the room, making both Kurt and Sebastian squint at the brightness. "Or maybe you _did_ want to," he ends, not sounding amused at all. Kurt quickly focuses on a spot on the floor, his cheeks flaming with embarrassment.

"Oh, shut up," Sebastian mutters, but he puts a reassuring hand on the small of Kurt's back, gently pushing him out of the printer room. "Thanks for coming, though. I really appreciate it."

"Yeah, thanks," Kurt agrees, still not able to look this Jess guy in the eye.

"You owe me," is all the reply they get, before he stalks off to the elevator, leaving Kurt and Sebastian alone again.

"So, a date, huh?" Sebastian says, and even if Kurt knows that it's impossible to sink through the floor with the weight of embarrassment, having learned that the hard way, he sure wishes that it _was_ possible right now.

"I didn't-" Kurt starts, but he doesn't know how to continue. He did mean it, he's not going to lie to Sebastian's face.

"Yeah, you did," Sebastian says. "It's okay." He glances down on Kurt. "Do you have all your stuff?" he asks.

Kurt blinks. It's okay? What about- "Uhm." He looks down at himself. His coat is still over at his desk. "No, hang on." He walk over and grabs it, along with his bag, and dumps the handouts on his desk at the same time.

"I'm done," he says as he approaches Sebastian again.

"So, Kurt Hummel," Sebastian says with a smile. "Would you like to go on a date with me tomorrow?"

~x~o~x~o~x~o~x~

Kurt should have known it wasn't a good idea.

He's been stupidly excited the whole day; excited and nervous about his first real, actually pronounced, _date_ with Sebastian-of course he was going to be let down.

Sebastian had asked Kurt to meet him outside the office at five pm and Kurt had agreed without questioning it. Sebastian had also, however, called him around four and _cancelled_, without explanation.

It's the end of January, and the Marketing floor is swamped. It's post-holiday sales and pre-spring marketing all at once, and Kurt has a lot to do. It's not hard for him to put all his anger into his work and do research to keep his mind off of being stood up _again_. In fact, he's so caught up in what he's doing that he misses it when people start to trickle out at the end of the day, and when he does notice, he's on too much of a roll to want to go home.

He's typing up the last of a scheduled blog post when he's abruptly pulled out of his own world by the ding of the elevator. He whips his head and is greeted by the sight of-Sebastian.

Of course.

Kurt turns his face back to the computer determinately and continues to write, doing his best to ignore Sebastian approaching.

"Hey," Sebastian says. Kurt ignores him. Sebastian perches on the edge of Kurt's desk and Kurt does his best to focus on the screen instead of how well those pants hug those long legs.

"Kurt, I'm sorry," he tries. "I had to do something and I thought it would take the whole night, so I thought it was best to cancel instead of postponing, and _then_ having to call and cancel."

Kurt presses his lips together, still trying not to look at the other man. It's not a big desk, though, so he can't fail to notice when Sebastian disappears and walks off to the briefing area in the middle of the office. It's basically four desks put together to form a bigger table that you can stand around, and Kurt has no idea what Sebastian's doing, but he's _not_ going to look.

Not looking gets harder a few seconds later when the blog post is finished and put in the queue.

"Okay, look," Sebastian says from where he's standing. "I'm not good at this stuff, at all, and I know it. But I'm actually _trying_ here, so it would be nice if you at least _looked_ at me."

Kurt looks up, intending for it to just be a quick cursory glance, but he can't stop looking when he sees what Sebastian has done.

Across the tables there's a blanket spread out that Kurt recognizes from the first floor lounge. Sebastian is sitting cross-legged on top of it, containers of take-out set up in front of him, and when Kurt meets his eyes, he actually looks nervous.

"I'll also get you coffee from the coffee machine?" Sebastian says with a small, lopsided smile.

Kurt can't help but laugh.

"Well," he says and stands up, walking over to Sebastian. "As far as apologies go, this is one of the best I've received." He climbs up on the tables, settling down opposite of Sebastian. "How did you even know I was here?" he asks as he takes one of the containers.

Sebastian hands him a pair of chopsticks and grabs a container of his own. "I... might have looked into the network logs on my phone. Just checking, you know," he says, keeping his voice casual, but Kurt sees the red tint to his cheeks.

"Why do I get the feeling that you broke a lot of company guidelines and rules by doing that?"

"Because I did."

"What would you have done if I hadn't been here?"

"Probably broken a bunch of other rules and looked up where you live."

"I live in Bushwick," Kurt says, sounding a little bit like he's explaining something to a five year-old.

Sebastian shrugs. "So I would've had to take the train to Bushwick," he says. He stabs at something in his container. "I like you," he says to the food. "I-know I've given a really shitty impression, but I seriously wouldn't bother with this if I didn't want it, so." He ends the statement with another stab and glances up at Kurt.

"Okay," Kurt says, because he doesn't really know what else to say. "I want this, too. But just be honest with me. And talk to me. I've already done the 'no communication' thing and it doesn't work, trust me. So yeah, just-talk to me, okay?"

"I'll try," Sebastian says, and Kurt takes the reply for what it is and appreciates the honesty.

~x~o~x~o~x~o~x~

The communication works for a week and a half, then promptly falls to _shit_.

Kurt is flipping through the newspaper at lunch when he comes across the movie program. He almost chokes on his fries when he realizes that the movie he's been waiting for for _months_ opens tomorrow. He doesn't know how he could've missed it, but he's already fumbling for his phone.

**Kurt:** "Breathe again" opens tomorrow. Want to go and see it?

**Sebastian:** A movie?

**Kurt:** Yes, the one I was telling you about at Christmas.

**Sebastian:** Sure

So far, so good. Kurt reserves tickets for them, and spends a long time in front of his closet when he gets home from work.

"Hey, Kurt?" Rachel says as they're getting ready for bed.

"Mm?"

"I was thinking of spending the weekend at Brody's. Would that be okay?"

Kurt frowns. "Why wouldn't it be?"

"Haven't you watched the weather forecast? They're predicting a pretty heavy storm by tomorrow."

Kurt stills where he's trying to smoothe out the wrinkles on one of the six pairs of pants he'd tried on earlier.

"I just thought I'd ask," Rachel says when Kurt stays silent. He shakes his head a little and puts the pants back in his closet.

"No, it's fine. I have a date with Sebastian, so I think it'll be alright. Thanks for asking, though."

"Anytime."

~x~o~x~o~x~o~x~

Kurt should have seen it coming, really. Half past four, his phone chimes with a text.

**Sebastian:** Don't think I can make it tonight, sorry

Kurt throws his phone on the desk and kicks one of the desk legs, wincing when it _hurts_.

"Bad news?" Chris asks from beside him. Kurt snaps his head up and glares at him, before realizing that Chris had no part in this, at all, and softens his gaze.

"It's...nothing," he sighs. "Or it's not worth it, anyway." Because it isn't. Sebastian can claim to be as into this he wants, but this is the third time he stands Kurt up, without explanation. Kurt likes him, but he's not going to go out of his way for someone who so blatantly obviously wouldn't do the same.

He doesn't even dignify Sebastian's text with a reply, choosing instead to go back to work and focus on that. He's in over his head with tasks and assignments, _again_, and he's thankful for the distraction.

"Kurt, are you going home?" Chris asks at five, standing beside their desks already dressed, his bag slung over his shoulder.

Kurt looks up at him, and then back at his computer. He's in the middle of researching for an extensive blog post about shoes for late winter/early spring, and he still has another two or three posts he'd like to finish before next week. He also has to go over Clarisse's schedule for the next week, something about an event on her kids' school that's messing up everything. Maybe it's a good thing that Sebastian cancelled. Now Kurt can focus completely on his job, instead of having his head in the clouds half the time.

Seriously, crushing makes him so _stupid_, it's embarrassing.

"No, I'm gonna finish some stuff here," he says to Chris, giving him a smile that's at least ten percent genuine. He appreciates that Chris _asked_.

"Okay." Chris doesn't sound convinced, but he doesn't want to argue, either. "Have a good weekend."

"You too."

When everyone has left, Kurt stands up and stretches out, walking over to the coffee machine to get some much-needed caffeine. He has conflicting feelings about being alone in the office. On one hand, he likes the silence and the contrast to the busy work hours, but on the other hand he's a little bit uneasy at being alone in such a big building with a lot of noises he isn't used to.

The latter is easily fixed, though. He starts up Spotify and chooses the playlist he usually saves for when he's working out. It's fast-paced and aggressive, perfectly suitable for his current mood. He takes a sip of his coffee and brings up the intranet, setting to work with managing his boss' schedule while blasting songs about how stuff that doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

~x~o~x~o~x~o~x~

He has no idea how much time has passed when his phone suddenly starts blaring _Born This Way_, signaling an incoming call. Kurt is too shocked by the unexpected interruption to look who's calling before he answers, which he instantly regrets.

"Kurt Hummel."

"Hey," Sebastian says. Of course it's Sebastian.

"Hey."

"Where... uhm. Where are you?"

"Work."

"Do you want to come over?"

Kurt is about to say no, he _wants_ to say no, but his eyes catch on the computer screen. His Dashboard is up, and the weather widget reminds him of what Rachel told him yesterday. There's a major storm coming in, and when Kurt actually takes notice and looks out the windows, he sees that the rain is already falling pretty heavily.

He isn't really that keen on spending the night with Sebastian, because he wants to _end_ things with Sebastian, but... He can't sleep alone. Not on a night like this, not in his and Rachel's apartment.

Knowing that everything will be much worse if he heads home instead of going over to Sebastian's, he sighs.

"Sure."

~x~o~x~o~x~o~x~

Sebastian greets him at the door and kisses him without even saying hello. Kurt goes along easily, needing the comfort after walking the couple of blocks to Sebastian's apartment while the rain was pouring down and the thunder crashing above him.

"God, you're _soaked_," Sebastian gasps when he slides his hands over Kurt's back.

"Mmm," Kurt hums, wanting to get his mouth back at Sebastian's, but Sebastian backs away.

"Come on. Let's get you out of those clothes."

It suddenly hits Kurt that this is probably (hopefully?) the last time he'll have sex with Sebastian, and he still hasn't topped. He still hasn't _fucked_ him.

"Yeah, let's," Kurt agrees, grabbing Sebastian's arms and steering him backwards to the bedroom. Sebastian looks surprised at the sudden burst of dominance, but he doesn't put up a fight. On the contrary, he grabs the hem of his t-shirt to pull it up over his head and then hisses when Kurt presses him close and his bare chest comes in contact with the wet coat Kurt's still wearing.

"Seriously, _off_," Sebastian says, starting in on the buttons while Kurt makes sure he doesn't walk into something. He helps Sebastian with the buttons as soon as they're in the bedroom, and together they make short work of the coat. Kurt hangs it over a chair and then immediately goes for his pants. He pushes Sebastian until he falls back on the bed and kicks off his own pants without breaking eye-contact.

"Take off your pants," he says, his voice surprisingly steady considering the amount of conflicting feelings running through his head right now.

"Yes, sir," Sebastian mocks, but he obeys, raising his hips to push his pants down his ass and then kick them off to the floor, leaving him-naked. "I picked up a thing or two," he says when he sees Kurt's widened eyes. "Come on, are you going to fuck me or not?" He slides a hand across his chest and down to his crotch, where he grasps his half-hard cock and starts to jerk it.

Kurt narrows his eyes and hurries to take off his shirt, walking over to the bed.

"Hands and knees," he says, nudging Sebastian's knee with his own. He reaches over to the bedside table and grabs the lube and a condom, then climbs up on the bed to get behind Sebastian.

He's so beautiful. Kurt knows to appreciate nice things, and Sebastian is _nice_. He's fit; he has muscles all over, and his skin is soft and smooth. Kurt trails his fingers along his spine with a soft, teasing touch, smiling at the goosebumps that form under his fingertips. He continues until he reaches Sebastian's crack and slips his fingers between the cheeks, rubbing gently at the rim, biting his lip in concentration when Sebastian hisses at the contact.

"You really want it, don't you?" Kurt murmurs, not even intending for it to be a question, but it's not like he minds when Sebastian nods and breathes out a soft "_yes_."

Kurt reaches for the lube and slicks his fingers, warming them up a little before pressing against Sebastian's asshole again. He slides one finger in, slowly, and is rewarded with a moan and Sebastian pushing back eagerly.

Kurt isn't really in the mood for teasing, so he twists his finger and adds another one quickly, learning fast from the way Sebastian moans how to twist and press and curl at all the right places. He's got three fingers in when Sebastian reaches for his own cock and starts to jerk it. Oh, no, that won't do. Kurt pulls his fingers out abruptly, startling a gasp out of Sebastian, and then he grabs Sebastian's arm, pulling him up until he's kneeling, his back still to Kurt.

"Don't touch yourself," Kurt says as he reaches for the condom. He sees how Sebastian tenses at the command, but he obediently drops the hand that had been on its way to his cock.

"Fuck me, then," he huffs out, spreading his knees a little further. Kurt hurries to slick up his cock and shuffle over, positioning himself against Sebastian, holding his cock in one hand, the other on Sebastian's shoulder for balance. He pushes in slowly, his hand on Sebastian preventing him from pushing back, and revels in the desperate noises Sebastian makes when this isn't going fast enough.

"Patience," Kurt murmurs, but he lets go of his own cock to slide his hand around Sebastian's waist and grab his instead, relieving him of some of the pressure.

"Fuck patience," Sebastian grits out, trying to fuck into Kurt's fist and push back on his cock almost at the same time.

Kurt huffs out a laugh and kisses his neck. "No, I'm fucking _you_," he murmurs into the skin. He bottoms out, finally, and holds his breath for a second, marveling at the feeling of being _inside_ someone again. He pulls out, equally slowly, jerks Sebastian's cock to ease his whines, and then he pushes in, fast, without warning. Sebastian gasps, and Kurt can feel his cock twitch in his hand and he tightens his grip in response.

"_Yes_," Sebastian moans. He reaches out to support himself against the headboard, but Kurt grips his shoulder harder and wraps the arm around his waist more snugly, keeping them in their somewhat unstable kneeling position. As much as he likes watching the smooth expanse of Sebastian's back, he wants him close right now; needs to feel the skin to skin contact and needs to be grounded.

Sebastian falters with his hands in the air for a moment, not knowing where to put them, but eventually slides one arm back around Kurt's neck and brings the other one down to curl around Kurt's on his cock.

Kurt kind of wants to protest, because he did say no touching, but he's too distracted by the tight clench of Sebastian's ass to actually bother. He falls into a rhythm, the hand on his helping him to jerk Sebastian faster than he fucks him. It doesn't take long for the pressure to build up in Kurt's groin, he hasn't fucked anyone for _years_ and he's still _young_, so fucking sue him for building up an orgasm quickly when he finally has his cock in an ass again.

He wants it to last, because he doesn't want to come back, but that also makes him want to stretch this out as long as possible. It's the first time in years, and it will _be_ the last time in god knows how long. But it won't last. Sebastian is already making the now telltale noises that he's close, and he clutches his hand harder around Kurt's, urging him to go faster, harder.

"Come on," he pants, leaning his head back on Kurt's shoulder, giving up his neck for Kurt to press his lips against the damp skin. "_Harder_, come on," he urges. His words send a shiver through Kurt and he obeys, fucks into Sebastian with hard, forceful thrusts. His grip on Sebastian's shoulder slips a little and he finally gives up on trying to keep them both upright, choosing instead to release Sebastian's cock and push him forward until he's on his hands and knees on the bed.

Sebastian moans out his approval of the change in position and makes use of it instantly by fucking back hard onto Kurt's cock. "Fucking _hell_," he mutters, grabbing his own cock again. Kurt takes it as praise and can't help but smirk, because it sounds like he's managed to surprise Sebastian.

"You can touch yourself now," he says, completely unnecessary since Sebastian already is, but judging by the moan Sebastian lets out at the permission, it's still welcome. Kurt looks down at where Sebastian is clutching the sheets with his other hand, his knuckles white, and realizes that he can't stretch this out any longer even if he wants to. A few hard thrusts later he's coming, his fingers digging in hard into Sebastian's hips, and he sees more than feels the tension in Sebastian's body when he follows, coming over his fist and onto the sheets.

Kurt pulls out and peels off the condom, getting onto shaky legs to dispose it in the trashcan in the bathroom. When he comes back, Sebastian is laying flat on his stomach on the bed, probably _in_ the wet spot, and Kurt wrinkles his nose but Sebastian doesn't seem to care. Kurt carefully climbs into the bed and lays down between Sebastian and the wall, raising a hand to caress his sweaty neck and trace his thumb over the permanent words that he hasn't noticed before.

"A tattoo, hm?" he says, his voice slightly rough.

"Mm," Sebastian hums, his face turned away from Kurt's.

"What does it mean?" Kurt asks. It's something computer related, that much he's sure of, but it also means he has no clue at all.

"That my head ends and my body begins," Sebastian replies, finally turning his head on the pillow to look at Kurt. He smiles when he sees Kurt's confused expression. "HTML tags," he says, and when Kurt still doesn't understand, Sebastian sighs and drags a hand through his hair. "I'm so not explaining HTML markup to you five minutes after sex," he says, and yeah, okay, Kurt can understand that.

"When did you get it?" he asks instead.

"Spring Break during Junior year. Las Vegas."

"Not a sober decision, I presume," Kurt says. Sebastian shrugs.

"I don't regret it," is all he says, and Kurt hears both the 'no' and 'this conversation is over' in that, so he lets it be and withdraws his hand, curls up on his side and pulls the covers up to his shoulders. Sebastian shifts and winces when he becomes aware of the sticky come underneath him. He gets up with a suffering sigh, grabs Kurt's discarded underwear and wipes the bed before Kurt has a chance to protest, then heads off into the bathroom to clean up.

When the silence stretches out, Kurt hears the storm outside for the first time since he arrived. He doesn't know the sounds in and around Sebastian's apartment, but it sounds pretty heavy, and even if he could be here during much more pleasant circumstances, he's still glad he _is_ here, and not alone at the apartment in Bushwick. He curls in further on himself just thinking about it, but Sebastian comes back before he can lose himself too much.

He gets into bed with Kurt and grabs his fair share of the covers, curling up on his side with his back to Kurt. It's not strange, it's how they've slept all the other times; luckily neither of them are keen on cuddling while sleeping.

Right now, though, Kurt could really use some skin-to-skin contact to calm himself down. He reaches out tentatively to put his hand on Sebastian's back under the covers, and Sebastian flinches, but Kurt doesn't pull his hand away. He drags it down slowly until he's at Sebastian's waist and settles in the light indent there.

"What do you want?" Sebastian asks, not turning to look at him.

"I-nothing," Kurt says, swallowing. He doesn't remove his hand, because Sebastian hasn't told him to, and Kurt really doesn't want to put himself in distress unless Sebastian explicitly asks him to.

"Then why are you touching me?" Sebastian asks then, and it's close, but it's still not an order.

"I-," Kurt starts, then swallows again. He might as well be honest, it's not as if he's going to be around Sebastian enough to have him mock him for it. Not if he can help it, at least. "I don't like storms," he says.

Sebastian is quiet, as if he's expecting more, but when Kurt doesn't say anything else, he scoffs and pushes Kurt's hand away from him.

"Are you five years old or what," he mutters, pulling the covers harder around himself and scooting a little further to the edge of the bed, away from Kurt.

Kurt stares at him. He knows Sebastian is crass and cold sometimes, but for him to be downright rude and insensitive honestly isn't something Kurt expects. It really cements his decision about this being their last time together, though.

He turns to his other side, facing the wall, and spends the night listening to Sebastian's steady breathing while forcing himself not to cry. When morning comes, he slips out of bed silently, dressing himself while Sebastian barely stirs, and leaves without saying goodbye.

~x~o~x~o~x~o~x~

Work on Monday is hard. Kurt has slept a combined total of five hours during the weekend, so he's not exactly feeling peachy to begin with, but he's also _at work_, which means he's very likely to run into Sebastian.

Sebastian, who called him over ten times during the weekend and sent twice as many texts, without Kurt answering or replying to one single of them. He's just hoping that Sebastian got the hint and won't approach him in the elevator or in the lobby.

He doesn't. In fact, Kurt doesn't see him at all for an entire week. He calls the general on-call number when he needs tech support, and by some lucky fate manages to get someone else every time. It doesn't mean that Kurt lets himself relax, though, because not seeing Sebastian at all means that he still has no idea how Sebastian will react when they do see each other. If he'll ignore Kurt completely, or if he'll try and talk to him.

To be honest, Kurt doesn't even know what he hopes for.

The luck, if you can call it that, ends on a Tuesday. Kurt's computer has been wonky for a couple of days, applications freezing and generally just behaving annoyingly, and when Word freezes in the middle of making a handout that he hasn't saved, Kurt picks up his phone to call the support.

He is so, _so_, not prepared for the person who answers.

"IT department, Sebastian Smythe," Sebastian answers, obviously having no clue who's calling.

Kurt is silent for a few moments, considers just hanging up, but decides to be mature about it.

"Hi, this is Kurt Hummel from Marketing," he says, trying to keep his voice as cool and neutral as possible. "I'm having a bit of trouble with my computer, I'd appreciate it if someone could come up and take a look at it." He very carefully uses the word 'someone' instead of 'you.'

"Kurt! What are you-hang on a second." Kurt hears shuffling at the other end and he assumes Sebastian is relocating to somewhere a little bit more private. He's suddenly glad that he took his computer into Clarisse's currently abandoned office to escape the complete mayhem on the floor. He considers hanging up again, because he's pretty sure he doesn't want to hear whatever Sebastian wants to say to him, but he needs to fix his computer.

"I've been trying to reach you," Sebastian says, and now it's much quieter at his end.

"I know," Kurt says dismissively. "My applications keep freezing and I've tried rebooting, but it doesn't work."

"Kurt, wait, I-is this about last Friday? About the movie? I'm sorry I couldn't make it, but I'm really not-Look, you can't give up on this because I missed one date," Sebastian says.

"Technically, you've stood me up on three dates," Kurt says, immediately biting his tongue afterwards because he _doesn't want to do this_. "My computer is fucked up, are you gonna help me or should I just call your boss and tell him that you're not doing your job?"

"Kurt, why did you even come over on Friday?" Sebastian asks, and he's sounding much more serious now, like he actually cares about the answer. Kurt glances at the framed photos on his boss' desk, the ones of her and her husband, the ones of her and her kids. He takes a deep breath.

"My mom died when I was eight," he says. He can hear Sebastian stop breathing at the other end. "There was this really bad storm, and she was driving home from work. Dad told her not to go, but-she wanted to get home. To us. One part of the road was along a park, lined with trees. One of them fell down and hit her car. She died pretty much instantly." Kurt blinks, and takes another breath. "If I'm alone during a storm at night, I get a panic attack. My roommate spent the weekend with her boyfriend, that's why I came over on Friday."

"Shit, I didn't-"

"I know. But that's no reason for you to diminish my feelings because that was really shitty behavior," Kurt says harshly, interrupting the apologies he doesn't want to hear. "Now are you going to do your job and _help me_, or am I going to have to go down there and ask someone else?"

Sebastian is silent for a few seconds before he sighs softly. "Try rebooting it in safe mode," he says.

"How do I do that?"

"You-" Sebastian sighs again, but this time it's his 'how do I explain this to you so you can understand what I'm saying' sigh. Kurt determinately ignores the fact that he can tell Sebastian's sighs apart. "Shut it down, completely."

Kurt does, not saying anything while the computer works. "It's off," he says when the screen is black.

"Good, okay, now turn it on again, and immediately after the startup tone, press and hold shift."

"Uhm, okay..." Kurt says, switching his phone to his other hand. He does as Sebastian says, and holds in the shift key. "How long do I press it?"

"You can release it when the grey apple appears." Kurt does, and a process bar shows up on the screen.

"What's this?" he asks warily.

"It's booting in safe mode. It might take a while."

"What does it do?"

Sebastian sighs again, but Kurt can't tell what it means this time.

"When you use your computer, it becomes-messed up, inside. No matter how well you treat it, something's bound to end up in the wrong place, a file will be broken, a code string missing. And after a while, something will happen that makes it tip over. It gets...overwhelmed. And when you boot in safe mode, you kind of-force everything to repair itself. You force the computer to get its shit together."

Kurt is silent for a long time, watching the process bar on his screen tick.

"Did you just compare yourself to a fucked up computer and me to a reboot?" he asks, eventually.

"I-maybe?"

The login screen pops up on Kurt's computer. "It's done," he says, not indulging Sebastian anymore. "What do I do now?"

"Restart it, again, but as usual."

"That's it?"

"Yeah. Well, if it doesn't work I'll have to come and take a look at it, but that's my first solution."

"Uh, okay. Thanks then, I guess."

"Kurt, I-"

"I need to get back to work, bye."

He hangs up without waiting for Sebastian's reply and looks down at his computer. It better fucking work.

~x~o~x~o~x~o~x~

It doesn't work. It doesn't work, and Kurt need help, but he doesn't want to call the on-call number again because he's pretty sure Sebastian will answer. He sends a text instead, ten minutes past five, hoping that Sebastian has left the office and that Kurt will just have to talk to someone else tomorrow.

**Kurt:** My computer is still fucked up.

He doesn't get a reply, and he's just packing up when the elevator dings, and yes, Sebastian exits. Kurt rolls his eyes and hoists his bag on his shoulder.

"I thought you had left," he says, grabbing his coat.

Sebastian shrugs. "I was just about to. Did you fix it?" he asks, nodding to where Kurt is almost done up.

"No, I'm just gonna leave it until tomorrow." He turns off his desk lamp, and when he looks up, Sebastian is almost at his side.

"Kurt, I'm sorry," he says, blocking Kurt's way to the elevator.

"So you've said," Kurt says, waving his phone and indicating the multiple texts and voicemails.

"Please, just let me explain, I-"

"Explain?!" Kurt echoes, incredulous. "You've-Fucking hell. I thought we were on a date in _December_. In Ohio. We weren't. Then I asked you out, actually _asked you out_, and you said yes, but you _stood me up_. When you asked me to come over, I did. When _you_ asked _me_ on a date, you cancelled with an hour's notice." Kurt is working up a rage, and he's probably looking crazy, but he doesn't really care right now. "You asked for a second chance, and you promised to communicate, but then you fucking _stood me up again_ just to call a couple of hours later and invite me over for sex, like I'm your booty call." Sebastian is trying to say something, but Kurt doesn't let him. If he stops talking, he'll start to cry. "And I didn't want to go, because I don't want to like you anymore, but I _can't deal_ with being alone in our crappy apartment when it storms. I tried to tell you, but you just-completely dismissed my feelings."

"I'm sorry," Sebastian says again when he's sure Kurt is done talking. "I'm just-" He sits down heavily on the closest chair, leaving Kurt free to walk away if he wants to. "I have...issues, too."

"Oh, really," Kurt deadpans. "What a surprise."

"Look, I get that you think I'm a jerk and that you don't believe me, but I really like you."

"You've said that before."

"Because I _mean it_! I-I hate going to the movies, okay? People talk, their phones go off, it smells like popcorn, kids cry, I can't pause to go and pee, I _hate it_."

"You can't be serious."

"I am."

"You hate going to the movies." It's such a ridiculous thing that Kurt doesn't even make it a question. "Why didn't you _tell_ me? Communicate, remember?"

Sebastian sighs. "Because it's weird. Because you wanted to go and I wanted to go with you, and I thought I could, but then I couldn't."

"Okaaay," Kurt says. This sounds like complete bullshit to him.

"Kurt, please, I'll-It won't happen again. I'll call or text or whatever just, please. I really, really like you."

"You're really, really bad at showing it," Kurt mutters.

"Probably because last time I did, it went straight to hell," Sebastian replies quietly. Kurt looks up at him. Sebastian looks...young. Vulnerable. Kurt doesn't doubt for a second that he's telling the truth.

"Spring Break?" he asks, because he has a feeling there was a lot more connected to that tattoo than just a fun, drunk thing.

Sebastian nods. "He was...it didn't work out."

There's a lot more there, but Kurt's not sure how much he can push.

"Okay," he says. "And...?"

"And I honestly didn't think I'd date again before I turned thirty, but then I met you."

It's a line. It's _such_ a line, but Kurt still can't help but both fall for it and believe it.

"Why should I trust you?" he asks, because he won't even try to kid himself. He likes Sebastian, he _wants_ Sebastian, and he's completely willing to give him another chance. "Why-how can I be sure you won't fuck it up again?"

"I probably will," is Sebastian's answer. "I told you, I suck at this. But I-this week, when you didn't answer your phone. I didn't realize how much I wanted this until then."

"But why should I trust you?" Kurt asks again. "You were all words and promises before, but you still stood me up."

Sebastian gets up and crosses the floor, leaning into Kurt's space. "Because you want to," he says and presses a soft kiss to Kurt's closed mouth. "Because you like me." Another kiss. "Because you're naive and believes in second chances. And third."

"Are you trying to win me over or make me leave?" Kurt asks, his breath mingling with Sebastian's.

"Because you need someone to fix your computer," Sebastian continues with a smile.

"You get payed to do that; it's your job."

"Because we have great sex." Sebastian goes on as if he doesn't hear Kurt's comments. He moves from Kurt's lips and starts to mouth his way down Kurt's jaw.

"I should trust you because we have great sex?" Kurt asks, but he still cranes his neck a little to give Sebastian better access.

"It's a good reason," Sebastian says, but then he takes a step back and looks Kurt in the eyes. "Please," he says. "Just one more chance."

Kurt reaches up and cups Sebastian's cheek, rubs his thumb slowly over the slight stubble there. "Will you move out your bed from the wall?" He asks.

Sebastian stares at him for a second, bewildered, then he smiles hesitantly. "Yeah."

"Okay, then. But-this is your last chance. I can't-I like you, but I need to like myself, too, and if you...I can't," Kurt says, because he really can't. If this goes to hell, he'll have to quit this job, because he can't, and he needs Sebastian to understand.

"No, I get it, I know. I'll do my best, I promise."

"Okay," Kurt says again. "I'll be your...safe mode, or whatever." Sebastian laughs.

"Thank you. I'll try not to fuck it up," he says, leaning in close to Kurt again.

"Good," Kurt breathes, his fingers clutching slightly at Sebastian's cheek. Sebastian takes that as a cue and closes the last millimeters of space between them, aligning their mouths perfectly. It's gentle and sweet and makes Kurt's toes curl and his breath hitch.

"Would you like to come home with me?" Sebastian murmurs against Kurt's lips. "I may or may not have a ripped copy of _Breathe Again_ on my computer."

Kurt smiles. "Yeah. I would like that very much."

_end_


End file.
